The weirdest kind of normal (Chari)

[James Lawerence Windsor]

This was not going the way he planned. Not at all. Was he not the same kid, who rolled with Charisma down a hill? Was he not the same best friend that walked around in her shoes to stretch them out, because they were too tight for her feet? Was he not the same boy who drew his wand through her corset to make it easier for her to breath? The short of it was, Jimmy loved Charisma. They were best friends. Best friends who were siblings. And honestly, siblings should be able to talk to each other about anything. Jimmy wasn't fortunate enough to have a biological sibling, but he did have Charisma. It was her who knew his pain when Anne first started dating, and then when she married and when she had a baby. Then the twins. Charisma was the first to know about it. And even after she knew, the only other person he'd told was Vox. (He might have mentioned it to Savvy in an offhanded way, simply because, Savvy actually knew Anne form when they were kids.) If indeed Jimmy was all of the above, then he had a right to be explaining things to Charisma. Best friends, didn't let each other go into situations unawares. But.... ok, maybe his language was a bit harsher than he should have been. Jimmy knew Magnus would never abuse anyone. Magnus was a Hansen. But Jimmy had a feeling, that when Charisma had been told it was the man's job to instruct, it may as well have been code for you-have-no-say-in-the-matter-everything-is-up-to-him, and that line of thinking was abuse, in Jimmy's definition. So even though, it upset Charisma, he said it. He said it because, it had to be said. He never meant to hurt her.

He pulled her into a hug, tried to explain that he hadn't meant it to come out like this, that he only wanted what was best for her,  but her words stung. Jimmy did think.... granted not that often, and certainly he didn't think everything through to the end. He was no Hansen. But he had sort of asked her... at least, he asked what she knew, and when she admitted, or rather, not admitted how much, he'd told her the rest. But then... then Charisma's next words, hit him hardest. She compared him to his father.... his.... Jimmy shut his eyes, remembering the lesson they had back when he'd been a third year, a lesson about bogarts. And Jimmy's bogart, had been.... himself, in clothes his father wore, handling important documents.... he was James. And here Charisma was insinuating. When Charisma's words fell, he looked shocked, and white. The blood had drained from  his face. Charisma accused him of being like his father, knowing what was best, and then, in an odd comparison, she compared him to Lord Hammond. He winced slightly as she banged her fist on him. Jimmy held her, let her cry, then pulled back, "Charisma, you know it's not like that," his voice was full of hurt. "I... I didn't mean not to ask, it wasn't my intention to force anything on you, and I don't know best, I just know more facts than you do." Jimmy's voice was slightly strained from trying hard to not lose his temper at his best friend. He needed her friendship. "I did it, because if I hadn't, then no one would have told you, and you wouldn't have all the facts, and it's important to know about the facts before you marry. I wasn't trying to take Magnus's place, I was trying to make sure than when you spoke to Magnus, you would know what you were talking about." His voice ended very quietly, he only hoped that the skills of arguing and persuasion, that he needed in law and hated, but was actually quiet good at, would be in top form right now.

[Charisma Hansen (Weaver)]

Charisma loved Jimmy.  They were best friends.  Best friends who could relate, who could really understand one another as few others could.  Jimmy had long since made it his mission to liberate Charisma's way of thinking; she had long since made it hers to protect him from what must inevitably be endured.  He got her to ease up when she needed to let her hair down; she gave him new insight when he needed encouragement.   Their relationship was complementary in that regard.  But this time, he really didn't know when to stop.  This wasn't some roll down a hill or a pair of shoes that pinched; this was her life.  No, more than that, this was her life with Magnus, their personal, private, soon-to-be-wed life.  It would change everything.  Everything.  Jimmy couldn't treat such a matter as intimacy as though it were a grocery list at the local shop:  make sure to pick up this and don't forget you'll be wanting that.  This was sacred.  And Charisma had lost her temper.

To his credit, Jimmy didn't immediately pull away from her teary invective, but waited for her tears to slow before giving his reaction.  "Charisma, you know it's not like that."  She could hear the hurt in his voice, but couldn't quite look at him yet.  Of course, now that the blood was out of her face and back in her brain where it belonged, she was rational enough to care that she hadn't been terribly fair.  She was still upset with him, but not so much that she felt alright about the injury her words had caused.  "I... I didn't mean not to ask," he continued.  She sniffled in reply and chewed on her lip.  "It wasn't my intention to force anything on you, and I don't know best, I just know more facts than you do."  Charisma searched her robes for a silk handkerchief and dabbed at her face, for the sake of attempting to regain her dignity as much as to dry her face.  "Perhaps you should have waited until I asked you, then - assuming I wished to do so."  Her voice was subdued now, done yelling but still giving the impression she was quite disgruntled.

Jimmy's voice was about as strained as hers.  "I did it, because if I hadn't, then no one would have told you, and you wouldn't have all the facts, and it's important to know about the facts before you marry," he insisted.   "I wasn't trying to take Magnus's place, I was trying to make sure than when you spoke to Magnus, you would know what you were talking about."  She didn't reply for a minute.  Charisma could hear it in his voice:  the struggle between defending his stance and keeping his temper.  But also, of accepting that he'd disconcerted her.  Her teeth continued to worry her bottom lip as she took several deep breaths through her nose and reminded herself that there was at least one thing of which she was certain:  Jimmy's intentions, his friendship, and his heart mattered more than her anger.  She sighed.  "It was unfair of me to compare you as I did," she allowed.  "Forgive me."  Words struggled on her lips before she added quietly, "I'm just...it - scared me."

[James Lawerence Windsor]

Jimmy and Chari had gone back quite a bit. There was a certain... understanding, that no matter the subject, they did not approach each other out of a place of malice or pain. Rather, they looked out for each other, in the only ways they each understood. From Jimmy insisting Chari help him choose an outfit, to Jimmy picking out all of Chari's clothes and accessories. From Jimmy being able to admit certain things to Chari first, to Chari being able to pick up on when things truly bothered him, and when he was just overacting. It was because of this relationship that Jimmy felt it his duty to give her the facts, he knew she wasn't getting anywhere else. He did not want her first time to be like his. His was shameful, her's would not be. Of that Jimmy was determined.

So, it was with a pained voice, he explained himself. Jimmy was only pained because he had not expected for Chari to react as she had. It was very hard for Jimmy to not scoff at Chari's notion that Jimmy should have waited. For if he had, he would still be waiting for her to ask, when her grandchildren were getting married. He only wanted her to have the facts, so she could then go talk to Magnus before the wedding. So she would know what she was talking about, and he explained that. Jimmy suddenly felt very tired. Then Chari apologized, and he nodded, afraid if he voiced his acceptance, it possibly wouldn't seem sincere, even though he totally and completely forgave her. Jimmy was shocked by her next admission, he took her hand, "Why does it scare you? It's not because I told you about my experience, is it?" He suddenly started to feel a bit guilty, "because, you know, Magnus is not at all like Rolf, and you are not me, and anyways, what Rolf and I.... it's a totally different situation."

[Charisma Hansen (Weaver)]

Neither Charisma nor Jimmy were exactly pleased with the other yet.  Charisma was still perturbed by the impertinence of Jimmy's attitude concerning such a private matter, and Jimmy was still perplexed that she took such exception to his providing her such an...education.  But if she couldn't approve of the way he'd insisted, Charisma could accept that her best friend sincerely believed it would benefit her immeasurably.  It was still presumptuous and utterly inappropriate, of course.  But he truly was taking her well-being - if not her delicate sensibilities - into consideration.  And as that was the case, it would have been terribly rude of her to continue venting her ire at him.  Or to be less than honest.  It did scare her...among evoking other feelings; the information only scared her more.  Jimmy looked alarmed.  "Why does it scare you?" he asked.  "It's not because I told you about my experience, is it?"  Charisma shifted a little, though her discomfort was only half due to the subject at hand; it was also just really difficult to maintain such a poised, perfect, perched-on-a-chair's-edge position, and her back was starting to ache.  "Well," she began, "that isn't the only reason, but it has crossed my mind."  Goodness, it was so awkward to speak so openly about this.

"Because, you know, Magnus is not at all like Rolf," he insisted, "and you are not me, and anyways, what Rolf and I.... it's a totally different situation."  A small shudder went up her spine.  Jimmy hadn't specified that particular...er...interaction, but she remembered the dread she felt, trying to put herself in Jimmy's shoes.  "No, nothing like that," she assured him hastily.  "That is, I am not afraid of Magnus behaving so...un-chivalrously."  She was careful to phrase that gently, for Jimmy's sake.  She shifted uncomfortably again and cleared her throat with a polite little cough.  "No, I trust Magnus to be...gentle, when it - er - happens."  Merlin, she just could not speak of this directly.  "He would never mistreat me in such ways, I know he wouldn't.  It's only...well."  She took a sip of tea to steady her nerves.  "It's all so - so drastic, isn't it?"  If drastic was the word she wanted.  Charisma wasn't sure.  "And undignified, and...er...exposed, and..."  She felt her face and neck flushing again and shook her head emphatically, sitting even straighter.  "I'm sorry, I just cannot discuss these things.  It's unladylike."

[James Lawerence Windsor]

Granted Jimmy did not always think things through, especially not from the other person's perspective. He wasn't rude or callous, he was just impulsive. And once he realized he'd rather be Jimmy than James, he figured he should be Jimmy with everything he knew how. And Jimmy... Jimmy was blunt. Jimmy was vain. Jimmy was fashionable. Jimmy was into makeup. Jimmy was bisexual. Jimmy was open. Jimmy was free. Jimmy spoke up when he had something to say. Jimmy spoke up when he felt he had to say something. That was what propelled him to speak on this now. Yes, he knew Chari would consider it inappropriate, but that's precisely why he felt he must speak up. And then she admitted to fear. Jimmy had not expected Chari to be afraid, but thinking back, it made sense. If no one would talk about it, of course, it would be fearful. Most of the time people were afraid of something, it was because they didn't have all the facts. So Jimmy set out to hand over those facts. And yes, he had told Chari about his experiences, because... well.. it was something he needed to speak about, and she was his best friend, and he had not needed to get graphic about Rolf, but he did feel the need to graphically explain what Charisma had to look forward to in her marriage.

Jimmy breathed a little easier, when Chari reassured him that she wasn't worried that Magnus would be like Rolf. Rolf had been pushy, and Jimmy had been just figuring things out. "Of course, Magnus will be gentle. He loves you, he wants you to enjoy the experience. And you should enjoy it. It's supposed to be fun." And then came the 'but' except Charisma didn't say 'but' or even 'however', she said 'well' Jimmy blinked, drastic....undignified...exposed...unlady--... "Charisma," he whined, "of course, it's drastic, i mean... it seals your marriage. Don't you know that way back when, after the guy pronounced 'man and wife' everyone would go watch the couple consummate." Jimmy paused a very brief moment to savor her reaction, before he quickly continued, "Chari, trust me on this, ladies talk about this stuff, an not only do they talk about it, they swap stories and ideas, and then act on those ideas." Jimmy reached for her hand, "Charisma, I'm not saying you have to become a gossiping harpy who stands around the sherry bottle bragging about who she bedded and how... All I'm saying is, now that you know what it involves, you can and should, talk to Magnus and tell him what you fancy, and see what he fancies, and you're not gonna get it perfect the first time, but let Magnus know how you feel about it, so he knows how to behave himself." Jimmy took a breath, "Look, it'll get easier the longer your married, but you have to know where to start."

[Charisma Hansen (Weaver)]

"Of course, Magnus will be gentle," Jimmy insisted.  "He loves you, he wants you to enjoy the experience."  He could have stopped right there and she'd have been fine.  "And you should enjoy it.  It's supposed to be fun."  And they were back to talking about...it...again.  Sometimes Charisma had to really wonder just how much Jimmy considered his words before they left his mouth.  The endearing thing about Jimmy was that he was very sincere; the exasperating thing was that he was very blunt and legitimately seemed not to understand why that was a problem.  "Charisma, of course, it's drastic, I mean... it seals your marriage."  She wrinkled her nose rather affectedly and raised her head.  "Yes, thank you..." she began pointedly.  "Don't you know that way back when, after the guy pronounced 'man and wife' everyone would go watch the couple consummate."  Well, if that didn't have her slamming her thighs together...  Charisma's face flushed anew very rapidly.  "Jimmy, for pity's sake!" she yelped, covering her face.  Merlin, she had to get that visual out of her head, at once!

He was enjoying this.  She could tell.  And someday, somehow, she would get him for it - once she could actually look him in the eye again, that was.  "Chari, trust me on this, ladies talk about this stuff," he said.  As though nothing was wrong.  "And not only do they talk about it, they swap stories and ideas, and then act on those ideas."  "How would you know," she muttered petulantly.  "You're not a lady."  He took one of her hands away from her face and held it.  "Charisma, I'm not saying you have to become a gossiping harpy who stands around the sherry bottle bragging about who she bedded and how..."  "Any time you want to change the subject, I'm fully prepared to discuss something else," she interjected.  "All I'm saying is, now that you know what it involves, you can and should, talk to Magnus and tell him what you fancy, and see what he fancies," he continued, unfazed by her beet red complexion or inability to look at him directly.  "and you're not gonna get it perfect the first time, but let Magnus know how you feel about it, so he knows how to behave himself."   Her bottom lip was getting chewed up again.  "How I...?  Jimmy, I can't even hear these things without feeling I might faint.  I'll be fortunate enough if I don't do so the night of!"

Jimmy took a breath; Charisma felt like she couldn't breathe at all.  "Look, it'll get easier the longer your married, but you have to know where to start."  She tried to pull her hand away.  Charisma's head was positively spinning with all of this.  She was no longer covering her face, but it was all she could do not to run away in panic - and she still couldn't quite look at Jimmy.  Instead she focused in the teacup on the coffee table before her.  "I hardly know what I 'fancy,'" she said after a minute of silence.  "I'd rather hoped to discover as much - and other things you've mentioned - with Magnus."  She chewed her lip again, worrying it to a deep pink shade.  That was a big part of the reason she'd been so angry, she realized suddenly.  "I wanted to learn with him, Jimmy," she said quietly, and rather firmly.  "I thought it would be romantic."  Charisma opened her mouth to say more, then shut it again, uncertain of what she'd even say.  Finally she added, "It seemed less...wicked, to learn in that way."

[James Lawerence Windsor]

Bottom line, Jimmy loved Charisma and wanted to make sure she was happy. So he needed her to know that certain things she had been told all of her life was a lie. But of course, because they were best friends, he got to tease her mercilessly about things he knew would turn her red. Like the origin of the wedding kiss. Jimmy rolled his eyes affectionately when Charisma pointed out he wasn't a lady, he nodded in concurrence, but then winked, and whispered, "yes, but you're forgetting two things. One, when I was a child, I would hang onto Anne's skirts and people would say all kinds of things in front of her because she was my nanny and then acted as if that meant she was nothing," a point which angered Jimmy to this day, and which he always struggled to keep the anger out of his voice for, "and two," he smirked, "I'm bi. I get a pass at knowing things about ladies." Ah, Jimmy did enjoy having a trump card. The he went into a tirade about how Charisma didn't have to grow up to be that sort of lady, and no mater how much she would protest, he did not plan on changing the subject until he was satisfied that she understood the knowledge and wisdom that he was trying to convey. Jimmy sighed exasperated when Charisma brought up fainting... "That's why you need to talk about it with Magnus, so you know what to expect, and will be ready and won't faint." That's really what he was trying to do, was help set her up to start on a wonderful married life path.

Jimmy took pause as he considered his bestie's next words. Oh, there she went chewing her lip, Jimmy automatically reached over to smooth it. "How many times, must I tell you to stop doing that?" Then she spoke about romance and wickedness... and then Jimmy had to smirk. "Oh, Chari... sweet, innocent, Chari... if it's not wicked, you're not doing it right," he said in an oh-I'm-so-wise-and-experinced-and-must-impart-my-knowledge-no-matter-what tone. "You will learn with Magnus. Now that you know all the facts. You can pick and choose what parts you want to learn... first. And," he added after a moments pause, "the only reason you haven't figured out what you 'fancy' is most likely because you've never experimented with anything at all. You've got to learn to be comfortable with yourself. And that is yourself, that you probably never let anyone else see, but will have to let Magnus see, when he takes you to the marriage bed. The only way to do that, is to start now, experimenting with some of the techniques I just told you about." He paused to think, and then listed some of the techniques he thought Charisma would benefit from practicing solo. "So, to recap. Get to know yourself and what you like, talk to Magnus to see what he likes, (and trust me, he's figured some things out already) then, once you know these things, talk to Savvy and she'll make you something innocent but sexy for the wedding night. (I promise I won't bug her about it.) Then you get married. Magnus will take you on the honeymoon, and you can start you're happily married life, all thanks to me."

[Charisma Hansen (Weaver)]

It wasn't easy to be properly irked at such a ridiculously pretty boy.  Not really.  There was always a potential puppy face looming on the horizon, and it was hardly fair when what he really deserved was a scolding.  It didn't help that he was also her best friend and very well-intentioned; she couldn't ignore his feelings.  Charisma wasn't as upset now as she had been, but she was far from appeased.  There was still that aura he was giving off, that I-know-better-you'll-thank-me-one-day sense of superiority.  When it came to some things, she didn't mind it so much.  Jimmy could be very helpful and insghtful at times, and often amusing.  But that he was having such an attitude with a subject that made her so distinctly uncomfortable, it...it just...made her want to do something impulsive and unladylike.  Like smack him.  Possibly splash a drink in his face.  Instead she chewed her lip all the more.  Even that wasn't left to her in peace.  Jimmy's thumb moved across the dents her teeth left.  "How many times," he asked, "must I tell you to stop doing that?"  Charisma couldn't hold back a somewhat disgruntled pout of her own.  "It's my lip, I'll do as I like with it."  How was she supposed to explain her discomfort when the insufferable boy just took more and more delight in it?  "Oh, Chari..." he drawled, "sweet, innocent, Chari... if it's not wicked, you're not doing it right."  And there was that dratted tone of his again.  "Charisma," she insisted gruffly.  He ignored her, favoring the sound of his own voice.  Again.  "You will learn with Magnus.  Now that you know all the facts.  You can pick and choose what parts you want to learn... first." 

Charisma sighed through her nose, rubbed a temple, and closed her eyes as though greatly wearied by all of this.  She didn't bother asking Jimmy what he meant by 'first.'  It would only have earned her another explanation she probably didn't want.  "And...the only reason you haven't figured out what you 'fancy' is most likely because you've never experimented with anything at all."  Wait.  What?  Against her will, an eye opened.  "I beg your pardon?" she asked, with a modicum of dread.  "You've got to learn to be comfortable with yourself."  She looked at him blankly.  This was also likely something she wouldn't want to know about.  "And that is yourself, that you probably never let anyone else see, but will have to let Magnus see, when he takes you to the marriage bed," he continued.  With herself...goodness, he couldn't have meant...  "The only way to do that, is to start now, experimenting with some of the techniques I just told you about."  Charisma's eyes widened as the implications suddenly clicked.  "Merlin!" she yelped.  "Jimmy, seriously, I can't do things like that!"  Perhaps it was childish to hide her face in her hands again, but Charisma didn't care - she couldn't look anywhere else, or bare for him to see how deeply red her face was again as he continued his list of ideas.  One day, she reminded herself, I while get him for this.  "So, to recap," he concluded at long last, "Get to know yourself and what you like, talk to Magnus to see what he likes, (and trust me, he's figured some things out already)..."  Magnus had what?  "...then, once you know these things, talk to Savvy and she'll make you something innocent but sexy for the wedding night. (I promise I won't bug her about it.)"

Just how much trouble would Charisma be in, she wondered idly, if she did go ahead and throw a drink in Jimmy's face?  She pondered it silently as he spoke.  It wouldn't have been ladylike, but there was very little about the present conversation that was in any way genteel.  "Then you get married."  Not tea, no...she didn't want to hurt Jimmy.  Besides, if she accidentally burned him, or even came close, Master Pretty Face would never forgive her and she'd never hear the end of it.  "Magnus will take you on the honeymoon..."  That eliminated anything citrus as well, it might get in his eyes - what, he actually said it?  And did an actual eep come from her throat?  "...and you can start you're happily married life," Jimmy crowed.  "All thanks to me."  That.  Infernal.  Tone.  Again.  Charisma gave him a Look.  One she felt she'd be giving him more and more, if the topic didn't close itself soon.  "You know, I do believe my husband and I might figure some of this out without your help, O Sage," she retorted primly.  Charisma raised her teacup to her lips and, with some difficulty, drained the tea before she could in fact change her mind and dump the contents on his head.  "Are we finished here?"  She added sweetly.